Weighing in on the superficial

Rachel Goodchild had a unique question on her Eighty Eight Dates blog regarding a man who made losing weight a condition of marriage to his girlfriend.

We don't get all of the story- for instance, the tone in which it was said, if she has medical conditions because of her weight, etc. So what it looks like on the surface is a shallow man asking his girlfriend to change before he can commit to her.

If there are two things I've noticed about your body and dating, it's this:
1. If he wants to change you physically, he's just not that into you.
2. Self-confidence goes a long way. If you act sexy, if you carry yourself as a sexy person, you will be a sexy person. There's a lot you can do to compensate for what you may see yourself as lacking in the looks department through personality.

I have struggled with weight issues pretty much my entire life- both being too thin and being (what I considered) too heavy. I discovered that the two above points are pretty much universally true. If he is really into you, he will find you irresistible at any size. If you believe you're sexy and carry yourself as such (and in a subtle way, ladies, don't go overboard here), you will convince others you are as well- at any size.

Personality also plays a lot into the factor. As one dear person said, looks eventually diminish but the personality is what keeps you beautiful. The kind of vibe you give off, and the way you carry yourself, is what draws others to you. You can easily be a size 22 and have no problem attracting people if you take pride in yourself and genuinely take interest in others. This would fall under general charisma.

The woman whose boyfriend won't propose until she loses some weight shouldn't stick around with that guy. Frankly, he's using it as an excuse for not marrying her. If someone is really into you, they will find you attractive as you are. Love can't root in the superficial.