2009-04-17

Dating multiple people- the "do"s and "don't"s

A friend of mine we'll call Dave recently posted on his blog about his dating experiences. In the past, Dave dated 2 or 3 girls at once because he said he liked variety. However, he was always very ethical and honest about it.

There's nothing wrong with dating more than one person non-exclusively but there are some guidelines you should follow.

1. Be honest with all parties. From the very first date, let the person know that you're already dating more than one person. If you're not looking for a commitment, also make that known from the beginning so you don't waste their time and yours.

2. Limit your sexual partners and always use protection. Just because you're dating multiple people doesn't necessarily mean you should sleep with multiple people. Be smart. If you do have multiple partners, make sure you get yourself tested every 3 months and always use a condom.

3. Be clear about your dating status, and often. More than one person has been burned by not communicating clearly the status of the relationship to the other person. Some women will assume a guy is their boyfriend if they go out on multiple dates, and the guy still thinks it is casual! If you do just casually date someone for a while, make sure they know the status of the relationship so there aren't surprises for you both later.

4. Don't date people who are friends with each other. Unless they are very cool with it (which is rarely the case), the last thing you want is to be blamed for a friendship being destroyed.

5. Ask permission before you date a friend's ex. This may seem common sense but you need to ask your friend first and have an honest conversation about it. I personally know of several people who have ruined their friendships by dating an ex of a good friend, and it turns out the friend didn't feel comfortable with it.

Overall, you should use your best common sense and remember that- especially in relationships- honesty is really the best policy.

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