Meeting for the first time

While running around the internet, I discovered the Dating Is Weird blog. It's filled with quite a few quirky dating stories and inspired this post.

First dates can be tricky- even if you've already been talking to the other person online for a while. Talking online beforehand can alleviate the pressure because you have already hit it off and hence have things you know you can talk about. This is quite different from "blind" first dates where you may hit several awkward silences as you stumble from subject to subject until you find one that works. There is, however, a unique aspect that a first date can be the first time you meet an online interest in person. Will the person act the same? What are their mannerisms? What if that spark just isn't there? All of these go through one's mind before (and often during) the course of the first meeting.

The first meeting between two people who met online should NOT be a date. This may be a bit controversial, but there's a reason behind it. First dates are hard enough without any added awkwardness of a personal meeting for the first time. If the meeting is more casual, say just going out for coffee, the pressure is alleviated because the atmosphere is more relaxed. It seems there is often a kind of pressure with online romances that the first meeting needs to "work"- especially if you click online. A first date adds the very real "first date jitters" on top of the already-present nervousness of meeting someone for the first time.

So you like someone you meet online. You talk for a while. Rather than schedule a date, just schedule a meeting- a coffee shop, a bar, a pool hall, a museum, or some other public place that syncs with something both of you like. Movies, sporting events, etc. may not be good choices because they have a set start and ending time. If it doesn't click, you want to have the option of being able to bow out politely (which would be rude to do if, say, you were in the middle of a movie). These events also aren't conductive to talking, which is pretty much necessary when meeting someone.

Now, after the meeting, the two of you might decide to take it further and turn it into a date. That option, however, is just that- an option. It's not an expectation and thus will make the experience more pleasant for everyone. Less expectations = more pleasant surprises. A comfortable first date is usually a good first date. Making a good first impression is important and taking stress off of it will be better for everyone involved. You rarely get a second chance to make a good first impression.