Three years ago, a friend of mine lamented that she had yet to have any relationship work. She had dated quite a few people but in the end, it all ended the same.
I outlined for her that she tended to date the same type of guy and hence this is why every relationship ended in failure. She then made a list of all those qualities and decided to not date a guy who fit that profile again. A few months later she ran into a guy who was not at all like a guy she would normally be interested in and decided to give him a chance. Today they are a couple.
Had she continued dating "her type", she would not be happily married today. She would keep repeating the same mistakes with the same type of people.
To find out if you're sabotaging your happiness by being stuck in a mold, do the following:
1. Make a list of all the things you want in a mate.
2. Make lists for the last few relationships that you have been in (and, obviously, that failed) and put down the things (good and bad) about your ex-partners.
3. Compare the lists of the ex-partners- do you see a trend?
4. Make a profile of "your type". Then make a conscious decision to stop dating that type.
If someone new approaches you, give it a shot. The worst that happens is that you've made a new friend and the best that happens is that you've broken out of your "type" and potentially found your soulmate.
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